How life goes...

All too often I hear my clients say to me how disappointed they are with how life has turned out for them.  I always am careful to remind them that fairy tales exist only in books!  While from the outside it may look as though many have charmed lives and do indeed live an outwardly facing fairytale life I'm here to tell you this EVERYONE IN LIFE HAS SOMETHING!  NO ONE ESCAPES WITHOUT CHALLENGES (which we frequently refer to as the "bad", which is merely a challenge, some more challenging than others)!  If you are going to live a full life then you are going to need to grow and if you don't have challenges then how can you grow???  If every relationship worked then we would have very few and then miss out on the fullness of experiences of different people-be they friends, lovers, co-workers.  Through all the challenges life has presented me I've learned to embrace them.  Don't believe this was always easy and I can assure you it's an ongoing practice that ultimately is one of the most fulfilling journeys one can experience!  Everyday I have the priviledge of helping my family, clients, friends and myself look at life in new ways.  One of the best quotes ever that I reminded myself of everyday (I even had it taped to my wall so I had a constant reminder is from the late Dr. Wayne Dyer) for an entire year is this:  WHEN WE CHANGE THE WAY WE LOOK AT THINGS THE THINGS WE LOOK AT CHANGE!  Perhaps the truest words ever spoken. It doesn't matter what it is, we have a choice and I attest that in my own life this has been true.  I had to work on forgiveness yet what I discovered is that in the end it was how I viewed any incidence that made the biggest difference, more than forgiveness.

I was recently at the Chopra Center in Carlsbad for a retreat/workshop and Deepak stated that forgiveness is unnecessary as ultimately there is nothing to forgive.  A few years ago I would've taken offense to this statement but now I understand it.  However, arriving at this place of understanding did not happen overnight nor was it easy.  We all start from different places, circumstances and understandings.  What is important is to start where you are-meet yourself in a place that works for you!  If that begins with forgiveness then that is where one begins.  What I did discover along my journey is that more than anyone else I needed to forgive myself.  No matter what I needed to forgive then it had to start with me-forgive myself for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, for not seeing a bigger picture, for not being a better person and also understanding that I was doing the best I could, whatever that was.  When we forgive ourselves then it frees up that energy inside us to offer that same forgiveness up to others.  This may seem like the long road to arrive at the short cut but the truth is we are where we are and if forgiveness feels like the path to freedom then that is the path one takes.  The understanding that ultimately there is nothing to forgive is sometimes beyond our comprehension!  What one seeks is freedom inside and the ability to love oneself completely with all our pecularities-whatever those may be and we all have them!

What does it mean to love oneself?  Interesting question/contemplation isn't it?  To some the idea that one could love themself first and above all others seems like some kind of self-absorbed sickness whereas in reality the opposite is true.  For some, loving another takes the attention away from self but tell me HOW CAN ONE REALLY LOVE ANOTHER UNCONDITIONALLY IF THEY CAN NOT EMBRACE THE SAME IN THEMSELF???  I was once told I was selfish for wanting to be happy!  Really?  Tell me, should I farm my responsibility for my own happiness out to someone else or to the ideas of the greater world at large?  Then do I have a right to go around wondering why I am miserable and can't find happiness in "stuff"?  Yet so many people do this.  I can assure you happiness does not come from "stuff"!  There is nothing wrong with enjoying "stuff" but deep all encompassing happiness and joy only has one source and that is the Self, arrived at via the deeper journey into Self.  I see people post on FB about doctors this and doctors that but no one can "fix" or cure a polluted body or mind.  You can farm that responsibility out but you will never truly be free of what ails you until you personally begin to clear out your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual bodies.  As you do so you will slowly begin to discover that so much of what wasn't working was inside of you and of your creation!  A hard pill to swallow that one and I know because I had to take a few myself!  It's still a journey I'm on!  Emotions stuck inside us become toxic, the same as physical toxins!  I had one client in 11 years who wrote or called (actually had someone else call) to say that colonics were not working for them and request a refund.  I was shocked because the last conversation I had with this person was that they were starting to feel a little better and overall I was encouraged that they might actually come out the other side of hiding.  Then the next day I get this request.  I was floored, flabbergasted and confused until I realized that this particular person was not ready to let go of whatever dynamic they were holding onto and it was a complex, entangled situation! Ultimately they "blamed" everything on everyone else yet the true issue was inside of them.   I and any other person one may ever seek help from is exactly that, HELP!  We are all helpers, quides and ultimately whatever we do in life it is up to us and us alone-no one else can take responsibility for our lives, no one else can forgive or even realize there is nothing to forgive.  It is ultimately a solo journey back to self where we enjoy the priviledge of helpers.

Back to the fairy tale.  The fairy tale is inside you!  We can not change the past, those are moments in time, yet we can release ourselves from whatever those moments delivered!  We are not defined by our experiences (hard to understand when physical life is made of experiences and in day to day life we are often valued for our experiences or devalued by others for a lack of them but those are issues belonging to the valuer and not anything we need to be defined by).  What really matters is our relationship to ourself and what we can offer up to/for/in the world! My work over the last 11 years has not brought me financial fortune yet it has given me a purpose and a joy that I have never felt in any other way.  The joy of helping others via the journey of helping myself has been one of the most rewarding experiences of life!  It's my intention now, after years of hiding my voice, to reach out and be able to touch hundreds of millions of people on an ongoing basis instead of one at a time, to help elevate as many people as I can.  I do not have all the answers and ultimately our individual answers come from inside anyway but if I can help open a door that allows a deeper access to what's inside then I am all yours.  Please email any specific questions you may have or would like to address and I will do my best to help you or direct you to places or teachers/guides who are better suited to where you currently are.  We all come from different places but what is important is that you start somewhere and the only choice one has is to start wherever we are to release the idea of a fairytale and begin to find joy and happiness in our life everyday!  With my transformation coaching clients I give them homework, actually with all my clients I give them homework.  What homework are you going to take on today?  When we free ourselves then we are truly free in the deepest way and then we discover life is a fairytale of our making, no matter what happens we have a choice in how we look at it-just like Wayne Dyer said.

With much love 


In the western world we take our health for granted!  If it's not covered by insurance then sooooo  many people don't want to pay for it or they do not value it.  What this translates to in reality is that one does not value self, or health, choosing to value only what some large corporation is saying is important enough that they will pay for it.  What is not realized here is that it is paid for because there is a benefit for them.  There may be a benefit for you too but more often than not this is not realized and when it doesn't work one goes back for more, eternally perpetuating the cycle.  


Energetically if you sit at home worrying about having a heart attach or becoming diabetic then guess what, that is what you are going to create!  Instead channel the energy you use to worry into something positive-a walk by a river or stream, yoga, the gym, a day at the beach-something that gives you joy and has your body moving.  When we don't move our bodies become stuck and stagnant and this in turn creates the breeding ground for disease for your body!  You don't need to start out by running a marathon.  Start where you feel is appropriate for where you are, what is right for your body and what you can handle.  IF you are so disconnected from your body then find a local professional to help you or do some research online.  We all start SOMEWHERE, what is important is that you start!  The rest will come because as you start moving then more energy will begin to free up and pretty soon you won't know how you lived without it.

The same is true about your diet.  After 10+ years of working with people on diet I see it over and over-first is the resistance to change then slowly the changes come. This is and has been true in my own life.  There are some habits I work to improve but at times it can be a slow process whereas others it's easier and I know what I should eat! (Everyone is different so please do not buy into the one size fits all ideas about food). Joy is not only an important part of food but an important part of life.  If you struggle with vegetables then slowly add in the ones you like and be open to the possibility of trying others.  Look online (like this blog) for inspiration. Visit the salad bar at the local grocery store to find other ideas and combinations you may enjoy.   Buy a cookbook, look online!  Don't be afraid to fail because trust me we do not create without it going wrong sometimes!  For years I've been playing with food and combinations for my clients and as I slowly write a book.  There have been times where it was a no on every front and then some amazing yes dishes too where I did not write it down.  Getting it right and getting it wrong is part of life but one must start.  And if you hate the taste of fish then don't eat fish! I get much joy from occassional ice cream (dairy, sugar, etc -all the things that make us more acidic but it brings me joy on a hot day with my family so I eat with joy which is equally as important!).  If you feel you can't live life without meat then don't, but change the quality and quantity of what you eat and make it the best possible.

Once you start eating better and moving you will discover you are slowly starting to feel better and just perhaps that ailment you were going to the doctor for is no longer there.  You discovered it was in your power to change it.  Yes it is true that sometimes we do need outside help to get us started (and for some to keep us on track too).  For years I've had clients come into me and say well I've done this and this and this and still my bowel doesn't work and I'm beside myself, can you help me please?  Often time these very people were doing the exact right things for their body but they neglected to clear out the old matter stuck in their bowel  clogging them up and this was blocking all other progress.  A little helping hand in getting rid of the old was all that was necessary. 

If you go to the doctor they are doing what they were trained to do-deal with disease.  Disease is not about health and do you honestly believe that the pharmaceutical companies care about your health?  Their profits lie in the indoctrination that if you "don't feel well" then you go to the doctor and they prescribe you a pill.  The side effect of ALMOST every drug is gastrointestinal upset!!!  Approximately 80% of your immune system is in your large intestine!  How is a drug really going to help you?  Please do not misunderstand me, I am not anti-drug.  Sometimes they can be lifesavers, literally, but as a society we are WAY OVERSUBSCRIBED!!!  I AM PRO HEALTH, which is without disease and in which case you will not need the drugs.

People complain about the cost of healthcare yet fail to see that healthcare is actually part of the problem-it's not about health.  Our habits are also a part of the problem and without realizing we have created the very thing we complain about so if you want change start with yourself and don't expect anyone else or a company to do it for you!  If you want to improve your health-physical, mental, emotional and spiritual then find someone local who can help you to navigate this new terrain and help you put the pieces of your puzzle together.  For years I've been telling my clients that I'm just here to help them understand how the puzzle fits together and to help find the missing pieces.  Finding someone locals gives you a much greater access to what is around and to the other resources in your neighborhood.  Often times I get request from people years after I've stopped seeing them for local contacts because they know I am aware of what is around (as best as possible). A really good practioner is not afraid to cross refer.  I'm a firm believer that we can not be all things to all people and there are so many people who offer necessary services for health and healing and this includes honoring our emotional bodies as well. One thing is for certain-whenever we "get to the bottom of what is eating us" (yes our emotions can slowly eat away at our bodies-cancer is a good example) then we discover that dealing with those issues and becoming free is of them is far greater than anything we could ever achieve burying them so that one need not face them!!!  The greatest gift my work has ever given me was the deep understanding that we all have something-life does not spare anyone of the highs and lows, no matter what-you can be rich or poor but it doesn't matter, it still exist. Our view of it is colored by our surroundings so an event devastating to one person may seem trivial to the next but that doesn't make it any less valid.  Life is an individual experience and how we digest it is uniquely ours!  What is important is that we digest it!!! Otherwise it remains stuck and we remain stuck.  There is so much more you can do for your health and wellbeing that a doctor can not help you with.  THE POWER TO DO SO IS YOURS, RECLAIM IT!!!